So today has been an exquisite day. I had the nephew around,
a four month old baby. Now for a four month old baby , he seems pretty chilled ,
except when I hold him or go near him . Then he whines and moans. Why do babies
whine so much? it’s not like we can understand what it is he wants, if babies
came out speaking English it would be far more productive. To me my nephew looks to be ginger and his left eye noticeable
bigger than his right. So to me it looks like he is noticing me judging his
ginger hair and him feeling the self-cautious little baby starts to cry. Looks
like from an early age our self-confidence is beaten down by small miniscule
problems, perhaps that’s why in today’s society one word can throw you over the
edge?
I also went to have some tea with my friend and we found
this quaint coffee shop. The serves was godly slow, there were faster people in
Ethiopia than in this shop. Maybe this is why Poland is stealing all our jobs?
Anyway apart from waiting ten minutes for someone to realise we were waiting to
be served and 20 minutes for this cup of tea, which had to admit was worth the
wait. It had a potent fragrance and was at just the right temperature. You know
when you make tea it’s too hot so you have that exciting 5 minutes for tea to
reach optimum temperature to drink satisfyingly and if you miss that two minute
window of opportunity, you’re sitting sadly with your cold cup of tea and you
have to lie to your host and say “Yea its great!” when inside you’re longing to
heat it because it just feels like ice. I also hate it when people put sugar
and milk for me in tea, you don’t know how much I want a little to me could be
a litter to you. And why is it when I say “Oh just one please” people take it
as an opportunity to empty out the whole tub of sugar, I feel like I’m
literally drinking diabetes. Diabetes taste like really sugary tea I feel my
heart clogging, my heart might as well commit a heart attack just to save
itself from this god awful tea. Regardless, to my original point about this
coffee shop after we drank our tea and conversed in a great debate over is it
nerdy to like super heroes. I for one don’t think so as it gives you a figure
to look up to as its always cool to say “what would batman do” than to say “What
would Lady gaga do”. Batman would be like “kick ass and save Gotham” while lady
gaga would be like “Get high and act like a crazy person because that’s being
original.” ANYWAY. After the tea my friend offered to pay and got out her card.
The man took the card and said that would be “£3.90”, bargain. However, the old
cretines goat of what seemed to be a woman with what looked like a vacuum was
suctioning her body claimed that the price had to be over five pounds. This was
possible the most ridiculous thing I have hear, since when was there a price on
using a card. After a ferocious back and forth claiming its policy because she
doesn’t know how electronic work we (I) tirelessly lost this battle, the man embarrassingly
gave my friend back his card who walked off shaking his head to the nearest ATM
which she apparently claimed was just round the corner. After some awkward
stares and silent whispers between the two behind the counter my friend
returned and she took the tenner and returned change after doing some simple
maths on a pad of paper, not for business use or anything literally a scrap of
paper. I for one will not return there.
I walked my friend back to work and she works at a shoe
shop, a woman’s shoe shop. This is right next to a bigger woman’s shoe shop. Anyway
upon entering you are greeting by a jet of cooling air and shoes in what looks
like a closet. There are better shoe shops in India than this shop. And they
were having a discount. I recall a woman couldn’t chose between what to me look
like identical shoes, apparently two different makes but what do I know. She
claimed one was more comfortable but the other looked nicer. I said go for the
more comfortable one, being smart they look the same one is more comfortable
then obviously it’s the better choice, I did not know woman do not wear shoes
for comfort but yet for “Style”. To be
frank I don’t notice a woman’s shoes unless they took it off and showed it to
me, who are they showing it to? If you’re going out its going to be dark or
your feet are going to be under a table, and if they are not you’re going to be
walking. And it’s not every day you go “oh I’m walking let me stare at my
friends feet to make sure they are wearing the latest uncomfortable shoe”. I
for one don’t care if you wear flats, heels (as long as you’re not taller than
me) or clown shoes, I don’t see a girl and go “Damn those shoes are hot I
wonder where she got them from.” Maybe if you had a foot fetish? But anyway
this woman didn’t go for my decision claiming that she would be happier with
the exact same but uncomfortable ones, so I put forward that if you are going
to be walking a lot you might want the comfortable ones because you might be
happier, which she took it as an insult on all of humanity that I claim that
woman complain because their feet hurt. Maybe, science is too scared to advance
in this field.
Another thing is, I was walking home and being a Friday the
drunks are out in great numbers, quite scary sometimes. Today on “What drunk
are you going to meet” I met a drunk who was 100% certain I was someone named
Chris. Now if you know me I do not look like a Chris, I do not walk like a
Chris, I do not talk like a Chris, I do not smell, sing, feel or think like a
Chris, nor would I ever want to be called Chris. But this man was dead certain
I was Chris and I owed him money. I kindly told him I wasn’t Chris and he was
mistaken, and he said no I know that height and glasses its Chris. Now clearly
I wasn’t going to win because at my height and wearing glasses who wouldn’t be
Chris. I started to walk off and told him I’ve got the money I’ll go take it
out of the bank now and ill phone him later. My question is, why do people get
so unnecessarily drunk, girls it doesn’t look attractive if you’re there
throwing up and guys it doesn’t make you look hard. Being tipsy is fine but
flat out drunk it makes you look stupid and where do people keep getting it
from?
