The banter of school boy.

School is one topic that I don't understand. We spend roughly 18 years of our lives working to achieve a letter that is supposedly going to get us into a good university, then job... then what? I don't even think the letter means anything, yeah people work hard and achieve that all impressive 12 A*s and make everyone else in their class feel like an ass because they are achieving and everyone else is sitting on a couple As and Bs. But those grades only mean something until you get to University, then the ball game changes. Its like playing American Football then thinking your going to play football in Europe but your thrown into the deep end because instead of using your hands you use your feet. Everyone says University is different from School, that's where life begins, a time to experiment and live life. You are not yet an adult but you are not a kid. You are in an expensive awkward middle phase, where you pay £9000 a year to find yourself and build a career you hope to achieve later in life.

But back on school, it is its own little bubble isn't it. It is not real. You are stuck in a building filled with people you have to see constantly, and you better like them if you are doing your GCSE or A level year because switching schools at that time, you might as well try your luck with winning the lottery. But in those few years, especially an all boy's school, things are different from that mix school. Having been to all of them, I can safely say, an all boy's school is the bitchest. I never imagined in my life to find boys so two faced. But it is a price to pay. When you talk to people outside school only a small elite few say they are still in contact with their school chums. So why do we make everything at school so damn important. Why is it when Mr popularity says something everyone jumps. Why is it that at school we take things so damn personal, then we go outside into the real world and Billy who was the Bees knees, is suddenly trying to relive his glory days. We do try to hold on so dear to our friends, everyone wants that ideal life long friend group, bros for life. But life isn't geared up that way any more.

Being accepted is really important at school, as they say "when in Rome". However, everyone outside of those four walls says to "be yourself". But how are we suppose to know who we are at the age of 16? That is a life long journey to find out, If only there was a place where you were not treated like an adult yet but could still act like a kid, oh yes we covered this, its that expensive building called University. But being accepted is impossible, psychologist tell us that mostly everyone in your class feels excluded and isolated. I can honestly say I agree. If we take a step out and really look at our friends at school a lot of the time they were not really being friends, it was all about calling each other "gay" and put down antics to get a cheep laugh from bystanders who wish to be involved. But is that friendship? If not when do we actually begin to make friends?

Everyone believes their school experience was unique. I beg to differer, every school has the same group of people, no mater how rich or how poor, how big or how small. The only thing that changes the experience is how you act and react. Im nearing the end of my school life and career, and even though I can say I will miss my group of friends, I do wish I did things slightly differently. I think the biggest lesson people need to learn is "know who your friends are" like that beer advert with the random aliens. People often follow who they feel is the most popular or coolest, and you may actually miss an opportunity to have a great friend because your so into what Billy is eating. Understand why people act certain ways, just because someone comes off as self absorbed, doesn't mean they are a bad guy. I always try to find the good in everyone I meet and focus on that, rather than trying to pick out what is wrong with them. Give everyone the chance to be a friend, just because someone may not look cool doesn't mean they are not fun, people may surprise you, look at Monster University Mike and Sully were opposites in the beginning but in the end they were the best team ever.

*note I have nothing wrong with anyone named Billy and I will probably talk about school again :)

The Baby, Tea, Shoes and the Drunken Chris

So today has been an exquisite day. I had the nephew around, a four month old baby. Now for a four month old baby , he seems pretty chilled , except when I hold him or go near him . Then he whines and moans. Why do babies whine so much?  it’s not like we can understand what it is he wants, if babies came out speaking English it would be far more productive.  To me my nephew looks to be ginger and his left eye noticeable bigger than his right. So to me it looks like he is noticing me judging his ginger hair and him feeling the self-cautious little baby starts to cry. Looks like from an early age our self-confidence is beaten down by small miniscule problems, perhaps that’s why in today’s society one word can throw you over the edge?

I also went to have some tea with my friend and we found this quaint coffee shop. The serves was godly slow, there were faster people in Ethiopia than in this shop. Maybe this is why Poland is stealing all our jobs? Anyway apart from waiting ten minutes for someone to realise we were waiting to be served and 20 minutes for this cup of tea, which had to admit was worth the wait. It had a potent fragrance and was at just the right temperature. You know when you make tea it’s too hot so you have that exciting 5 minutes for tea to reach optimum temperature to drink satisfyingly and if you miss that two minute window of opportunity, you’re sitting sadly with your cold cup of tea and you have to lie to your host and say “Yea its great!” when inside you’re longing to heat it because it just feels like ice. I also hate it when people put sugar and milk for me in tea, you don’t know how much I want a little to me could be a litter to you. And why is it when I say “Oh just one please” people take it as an opportunity to empty out the whole tub of sugar, I feel like I’m literally drinking diabetes. Diabetes taste like really sugary tea I feel my heart clogging, my heart might as well commit a heart attack just to save itself from this god awful tea. Regardless, to my original point about this coffee shop after we drank our tea and conversed in a great debate over is it nerdy to like super heroes. I for one don’t think so as it gives you a figure to look up to as its always cool to say “what would batman do” than to say “What would Lady gaga do”. Batman would be like “kick ass and save Gotham” while lady gaga would be like “Get high and act like a crazy person because that’s being original.” ANYWAY. After the tea my friend offered to pay and got out her card. The man took the card and said that would be “£3.90”, bargain. However, the old cretines goat of what seemed to be a woman with what looked like a vacuum was suctioning her body claimed that the price had to be over five pounds. This was possible the most ridiculous thing I have hear, since when was there a price on using a card. After a ferocious back and forth claiming its policy because she doesn’t know how electronic work we (I) tirelessly lost this battle, the man embarrassingly gave my friend back his card who walked off shaking his head to the nearest ATM which she apparently claimed was just round the corner. After some awkward stares and silent whispers between the two behind the counter my friend returned and she took the tenner and returned change after doing some simple maths on a pad of paper, not for business use or anything literally a scrap of paper. I for one will not return there.

I walked my friend back to work and she works at a shoe shop, a woman’s shoe shop. This is right next to a bigger woman’s shoe shop. Anyway upon entering you are greeting by a jet of cooling air and shoes in what looks like a closet. There are better shoe shops in India than this shop. And they were having a discount. I recall a woman couldn’t chose between what to me look like identical shoes, apparently two different makes but what do I know. She claimed one was more comfortable but the other looked nicer. I said go for the more comfortable one, being smart they look the same one is more comfortable then obviously it’s the better choice, I did not know woman do not wear shoes for comfort but yet for “Style”.  To be frank I don’t notice a woman’s shoes unless they took it off and showed it to me, who are they showing it to? If you’re going out its going to be dark or your feet are going to be under a table, and if they are not you’re going to be walking. And it’s not every day you go “oh I’m walking let me stare at my friends feet to make sure they are wearing the latest uncomfortable shoe”. I for one don’t care if you wear flats, heels (as long as you’re not taller than me) or clown shoes, I don’t see a girl and go “Damn those shoes are hot I wonder where she got them from.” Maybe if you had a foot fetish? But anyway this woman didn’t go for my decision claiming that she would be happier with the exact same but uncomfortable ones, so I put forward that if you are going to be walking a lot you might want the comfortable ones because you might be happier, which she took it as an insult on all of humanity that I claim that woman complain because their feet hurt. Maybe, science is too scared to advance in this field.

Another thing is, I was walking home and being a Friday the drunks are out in great numbers, quite scary sometimes. Today on “What drunk are you going to meet” I met a drunk who was 100% certain I was someone named Chris. Now if you know me I do not look like a Chris, I do not walk like a Chris, I do not talk like a Chris, I do not smell, sing, feel or think like a Chris, nor would I ever want to be called Chris. But this man was dead certain I was Chris and I owed him money. I kindly told him I wasn’t Chris and he was mistaken, and he said no I know that height and glasses its Chris. Now clearly I wasn’t going to win because at my height and wearing glasses who wouldn’t be Chris. I started to walk off and told him I’ve got the money I’ll go take it out of the bank now and ill phone him later. My question is, why do people get so unnecessarily drunk, girls it doesn’t look attractive if you’re there throwing up and guys it doesn’t make you look hard. Being tipsy is fine but flat out drunk it makes you look stupid and where do people keep getting it from?